Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships by John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop PDF

By John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop

ISBN-10: 0791451151

ISBN-13: 9780791451151

ISBN-10: 1417500255

ISBN-13: 9781417500253

Explores deep intimate own relationships among women and men.

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Additional info for Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships Between Men and Women (S U N Y Series in the Philosophy of the Social Sciences)

Example text

Before I was married, I related to unmarried women as friends in a more personal way than most of my male friends. Even then, it was difficult to relate to women personally outside of courtship or marriage, because I was raised in a male world that tended to preclude close intimate relationships with women outside of courtship and marriage. Being married has not made forming such relationships easier. Most women were raised in a female world and felt some of the same restrictions you felt. I remember how uncomfortable I was having coffee in a restaurant with a former boyfriend soon after I was married.

For some reason, Lewis prefers the word human to personal, but he is actually talking about desire for being with a particular person in a personal relationship. He says that “Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman. In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion the lover desires the Beloved herself, not the pleasure she can give” (Lewis 1960, 135). ANNE: I agree that some relationships are essentially mysterious and are incapable of description in the sense of describing a process.

It was inconceivable that a close friend could be of the opposite sex. In spite of our belief that we live in an enlightened age characterized by free relationships between the sexes, the tendency to place relationships between the sexes into either the category of “just” friends or “lovers” sounds strikingly like an updated version of the societal rules of our youth that were based on the primacy of sexual and love relations. Limiting relationships to “just” friends and lovers implies that the primary relationship between men and women should be that of potential or actual lovers.

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Beyond Friendship and Eros: Unrecognized Relationships Between Men and Women (S U N Y Series in the Philosophy of the Social Sciences) by John R. Scudder, Anne H. Bishop


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